Is it about the money, money, money? What about the price tag?*
What value do you have and what value do you place on your contribution? This can be to your work, family, partner or a group that you belong to.
Women are brilliant at undervaluing and underselling what they do. This includes their skills, their talents and their wisdom.
Now, stop for a moment. I’d like you to write down a list of at least 10 things that you are good at. (To make it easier download the “What are you good at?“ pdf and complete it – then you will have a permanent record. Please remember to date it and sign it too.)
How did you find the exercise? The first few you write down are easy and then it gets trickier. It gets harder because it’s difficult to identify the things you’re good at unless someone else does it for you. Perhaps you only accept the things someone has already given you positive feedback about.
If you are not valuing your contribution then how can you expect other people to acknowledge what you do either? The challenge is to really feel your worth from within you. Once you have that, you are then able to share it and can get that recognition from the world and your environment!
If you walk around being bashful and not accepting your talents, then other people think there is no point in complementing you as you can’t handle it. And so it stops and you don’t receive the good stuff that is out there for you to have and keep.
Can you accept the recognition that is yours for the taking or do you walk around going unnoticed and your hiding your light? It might be that you’ve had some knocks to your confidence from a stronger, more forceful person that tought you to shrink and not try again.
I heard a lovely description recently:
“If a child ask a question and does not get the answer that he wants, then he will ask the question 100 different ways until he does.”
A consideration for us adults too!
But what does value look like to you? Is it the salary you earn, what you own, the car you drive or is it about the stuff you want to have that deny yourself? Or could it be about how you feel about yourself and it is less about the material side of life?
Do you know someone who doesn’t value themselves? Notice the way they treat themselves, how do they look, how do they behave. How does it feel being around them?
Are you in any way similar? What we recognize in others is often what we are mirroring.
Do you feel taken for granted – the “go-to” person that everybody looks for? Others come and take what they need from you… over and over again. The answer is to know deep down how valuable you are to them. I can help you do this.
I often hear people say:
“Oh, I should come and see you, but I want to wait until I have had my holiday, changed jobs, got the pay increase, moved house or the kids are back at school etc.”
This kind of statement tells me a lot about how somebody values themselves. The work that I do with clients can often get them to where they want to be a lot quicker than waiting for the perfect situation to arise.
So how do you measure your worth – internally and not externally? What does it mean to value yourself?
If you could change the way you value yourself then what difference would that make in your life?
If these questions resonate with you, I can help you.
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* Play on the lyrics from the song called “Price Tag” by the artist Jessie J
Little boy photo courtesy of S. Braswell from www.sxc.hu